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Dear Daniel, Deepest thoughts

Dear Daniel,

I decided to look at my old diary passages. And I wanted you to see what I wrote.

“ We all lead different lives while we’re here. It's something that I’ve been forced to understand. Some lead lives of sin, others lead lives of fear and some lead lives of destruction. No matter where they go they only know how to leave others in pain. I get it. Cause I’ve lived them all. Sometimes unknowingly and other times on purpose. Our entire day, Our life systems are based on how to avoid pain. Is pain even real? Or was that something only we created? I look at my life and I feel alive and feel dead inside all at the same time. I am an observer. I observe people intentionally create heartache for people and destroy their own lives out of guilt. I’ve seen people set people up and I’ve watched them fall. The amount of light that is taken — for most the amount of light that was stolen out of their bodies after experiencing such heartache from someone they thought they knew. Such betrayal is heart wrenching. More pure love is taken away from the world. Hate and infatuation is what seems to fuel this world. Where is pure love? The genuine kind, with no strings attached? Parents only love with limits. Moms are jealous of their daughters because they wish that they had more fulfillment or at least that is what I think. I also think moms baby their grown sons instead of displaying that affection to their daughters. Maybe that’s because that’s what happened to me. Tears in silence are more lethal than tears out in the open. Are we all so self destructive because we want to die; or is it because we are trying to save ourselves? I want it all because I’ve never had it all and when I have it all, it still feels like I’ve had nothing at all. So what's truly having it all?”


I thought you should know that I wrote about this in my diary back in 2019. I thought it was important for you to know how the many mixed emotions and life experiences I had since that Saturday night you broke me. Fuck you Daniel and Fuck Grandma for bringing your ass into this world.



Sincerely,

Your Daughter you hate with a passion Grace

P.S. I can’t wait to piss on your grave.


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